成长的意义


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成长

的意义


——顾天阳 Billy Gu



题目有些大,这并不是我所要总结的,而是我一直在寻求的,也许是正处于当下环境的影响里(全球新冠病毒的爆发)才使得自己真正能面对自我,回顾一下这十年来,我生命的沉淀。

This subject seems a little big. It is not something I'm to probe into, but a goal I've been seeking all these years. Perhaps it is due to the the current environment, the global pandemic of the novel coronavirus, that enables me to truly face up to myself, and look back what I have accumulated over the past 10 years.


也再次声明,本文谨代表个人肤浅的体验和个人的生命历程,并不是所谓的“鸡汤”,希望能给与本人一些警醒,能时刻提醒自我在做人,做事上的欠缺。对于家庭的责任的担当,对于我个人信仰的持守,对于工作的态度上,坚持健康的持续的追求。

I’d like to expressly declare this article represents only my superficial personal experience in my life course. It’s not a “chicken soup for the soul”. I hope it gives me some alert, and constantly reminds me the deficiencies in my life and work. It is a showcase of my responsibility for the family, my conviction to the faith, my attitude to work, and my persistent pursuit of health.



时间一晃而过,公司的业务发展已过十载,我在 CNOOD 也已然十年了。历历在目的不止是公司在10年内翻天覆地的变化,更是在10年中对于自我的认知的沉淀,对于工作原则的建立,对于各样责任的明确。曾经池总的教诲中提到了:年轻人的三个重要的十年,一不小心已入第二,此时正是一个绝好的机会,本文的主旨也正是让自己从不时的虚假自欺中觉醒,警醒明辨自己信仰的持守,家庭的担当,工作的态度等是非与真伪,若能及时纠正思想和行为上的不义。

How time flies. The business has been going on for over 10 years. I’ve also been in CNOOD for over 10 years. What has come to my mind are not only earth-shaking changes of the company, but also accumulated self-knowledge, established work principles, and clear-cut responsibilities. Dennis told us young people to take seriously three crucial 10 years. Before I know it, I have entered the second 10 years. This is a golden opportunity. I write it down exactly for the purpose of alerting myself of false self-deception from time to time, identifying my belief, family responsibility and work attitude, and duly correcting ideological and behavioral misconducts.



我坚信:一个对家人同事朋友有担当,为人处事上有能力的人,必定是一位持着感恩的心,谦卑的受教的人。在这点上,我有权利时刻提醒自己,因为我深知本我的亏欠,对于处事为人上的骄傲,常常影响自己的生活和工作。我很幸运的是,我确定了我一生的信仰追求,基督教的教义深刻的引导了我的思想和行为。在神至高的圣洁面前,我们真的一无是处,就是这至高的圣洁,才驱动着自己认清自己的卑劣。但这并不是使自己无限的妄自菲薄,却是激励着自己时刻向着神的圣洁去靠近。这不但促使自己建立并不断完善对于工作的原则,持续思考工作的意义。了解自己对于家庭,同事,朋友的担当是什么。明确了标杆,也就有了向着标杆直跑的坚定。

I firmly believe that a person responsible for the family, colleagues and friends, and capable of treating others honestly, must be a grateful, modest person. In this regard, I should remind myself at all times, as I am aware of my deficiency, my pride in dealing with others and things, which often affect my life and work. I am fortunate that I have confirmed the faith of my life. The teachings of Christianity have guided my thoughts and actions. In the presence of the holiness of God, we are truly nothing. It is this supreme holiness that drives me to recognize my humbleness. This is not to make myself inferior, but to inspire me to come closer to the holiness of God. It pushes me to establish and constantly improve the principles of work, keep thinking about the significance of work, understand my responsibilities for the family, colleagues and friends, define the target, and consolidate my conviction to reach the goal.



我不依靠各种所谓的“心灵鸡汤”,这些使人突发的激进(激发进取),并不是长远稳定的。真正的激励在于内在心灵产生实际改变的结果。往往我会颠倒“我的激进是否是源于促使我激进的动机”还是“我的激进是明确意义从而真正激励了自己的结果”。过去的十年中,浮现在脑海中的状态,从迷茫的去接受各种任务到学会初步的为人处事;心态的处理从遇事焦躁不安到所谓的“坦然无惧”。需要强调的是,这种过程的转变,有一个核心的瓶颈,我在这些年来发现和学会相对控制的时候很滞后,导致在期间对于工作和生活的态度变得极其狭隘,并以此为荣。这就是人性的骄傲,希望分享这个自己的软弱,并希望能提醒到自己,时刻的警醒自己在修炼的路上要攻克己心,避免此内在情绪的泛滥。回顾过去,并不是我学会了为人处事,也并非遇事坦然了,而是也且是自己在积累中得到的些许的经验以及教训;但这完全不值得任何的推崇和学习,仅仅作为一种今后路程中的借鉴。时刻倒空自己,才能被充满,若是执念于之前的所获所得,就必无法得到新的启发和收获。

I don't rely on the "chicken soups for the soul", as these sudden inspirations won’t last long. The real motivation brings actual changes in our inner minds. I would often reverse "Is my aggressiveness motivated by the motives that push me to be radical" and "Is my aggressiveness a result of having a clear idea of the significance and hence really inspiring me." Over the past decade, I have advanced from accepting all tasks in confusion to learning the art of dealing with all kinds of people and things. In this process, I have progressed from feeling restless when anything crops up to "meeting them calm and undaunted". It's important to note there's a core bottleneck in this shift. Over the years I have found and learned there is a lag in relative control, which leads to an extremely narrow attitude towards work and life in this period. But I was proud of it. This is the pride of human nature. I share this weakness of mine, in the hope that I could constantly alert myself to conquer it on the road of self-cultivation, and avoid to spread this inner emotion. Looking back on the past, I have not yet learned how to deal with others and things, I have not yet been fully at ease when misgivings crop up, but I have gained some experience and lessons in the process of accumulation. It is unworthy of praise or imitation, just a reference in the way forward. We have to empty ourselves before we are to be filled. If we are obsessed with what we have gained in the past, we will be unable to get new inspirations and harvests.



我很庆幸在这十年中,有诸多贵人给我指点,拍打,教诲,却如此宽容,忍耐那稚嫩又叛逆的自己。我们的岁月静好,常常是因为我们前辈和长辈的负重前行。我们或许不都了解公司的发展历程是如何艰辛的,或许我们不都明白自己在公司的意义是什么,但有一点我能坚定的认同的是,没有任何事情是容易且不需要付出代价的。在现在这样特殊的艰难的环境中,我们唯独能做的就是做好自己了。但是问题来了,到底何为“做好自己”,我入公司的第一天,池总就教诲我们要做好自己,至今也只能略懂一二。一个能“做好自己的人”,个人认为是有坚定且明确的目标,在生活和工作上极度自律的人。这是我们一生的功课,我承认在这点上,我自己是做的极其不够的,时常的患得患失,目标的模糊,个人的懒散,这是普遍的现象。我发现时间的流逝真等不起我如此的挥霍,无论是在信仰的持守,还是工作生活的状态上。“我也知道,在我里头,就是我肉体之中,没有良善。因为,立志为善由得我,只是行出来由不得我。”(《圣经·罗马书》)但这并不是作为放弃自我的理由,同样,我在这边再次重提,明确这些我自己的问题,并不是要让别人认同,而真是为了时刻警醒自己,别忘记自己需要时常的感恩前辈的付出,同事的努力,家人的无私,朋友的帮助,他们并非欠我什么,而这些是否是我应得的呢?答案往往不是。

I feel lucky that in the past decade, I have met a lot of people who are ready to give me advice, and urge me to forge ahead. They are so tolerant to me, young and rebellious. We are enjoying a quiet life, because our elders have taken the heavy loads for us. We may not know how hard the company has been in the process of expansion. We may have no idea what our roles are in the company. But I agree with one thing -- nothing is easy and costless. In such a special hard time, the only thing we can do is to be ourselves. Then, there comes the question -- how to be ourselves? The first day I joined the company, Dennis told us to be ourselves. Now I know a little bit of it. A person who can "be himself/herself" must have a firm, clear goal, self-disciplined in life and work. This is the lesson in our lives. I admit I have not done good enough in this regard. I am often swayed by considration of gaines and losses, unclear of targets, and indolent. This is a universal phenomenon. I have found that time goes by so fast. I shall not idle away, either in belief or the state of work and life. It has been stipulated in the Bible, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” That is not an excuse to give up ourselves. Similarly, I have to admit I am identifying my problems not to win others’ approval, but to remind myself that I should be grateful for the dedications of the seniors, for the efforts of the colleagues, for the care of the family, and for the assistance of the friends. They don’t owe me anything. Do I deserve all these? The answer is often negative. 



我想就先谈到这里,我们的路很长,同时我们的时间却是十分的短暂,一不留神就会逝去那本需要我们努力的时刻,一不小心就迷失了自我与浮世沉沦,哪里还有时间自我思考,自我学习,自我警醒。自由而无用的灵魂,谦卑的修炼自己,对于那些不想做的事情可以做到不做,感恩的去面对出现在我生命中的所有人,或许是在患难中使我们学会忍耐,从忍耐中学会老练,老练中生出盼望。不但如此,就是在患难中也是欢欢喜喜的;因为知道患难生忍耐,忍耐生老练,老练生盼望。

I’ll stop here. We have a long way to go, and yet our time is so short. If we are not careful enough, we may lose the moments that we should work hard, get lost and sink into depravity. Then we will not have the time to think for ourselves, learn for ourselves and be alert for ourselves. A free and useless soul, we may humbly cultivate ourselves, avoid the things we don’t want to do, and be thankful for all the people in our lives. As the Bible says, "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience. And patience, experience; and experience, hope."



加油,写给2020年的自己,也写给2030年回顾我在CNOOD第二个十年的那时候的自己。

Let’s go for it. These lines are for myself in 2020, and for myself in 2030 when I will look back at my second 10 years in CNOOD.



作者简介 About Author


顾天阳 Billy Gu

2010 年正式加入CNOOD 工作至今,现为高级客户经理,学历MBA。见证了CNOOD 每一次起点,每一次奇迹的发生。从一般贸易到工程贸易,从工程贸易到项目采购中心,现在又在为公司成为真正的EPC 工程公司而努力。相信:一切不是最好就没到最后。

Billy has been working at CNOOD since he formally joined the company in 2010 with an MBA degree. Now, he is a senior account manager at CNOOD. He has witnessed every starting point of

CNOOD and every time a miracle has occurred. Having witnessed the transformation of CNOOD from a company focused on general trade to one engaged in engineering trade, and again to a project procurement center, now he is working hard to grow with CNOOD and making CNOOD a real EPC company. He believes that it is not the end if everything is not the best.


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