This subject seems a little big. It is not something I'm to probe into, but a goal I've been seeking all these years. Perhaps it is due to the the current environment, the global pandemic of the novel coronavirus, that enables me to truly face up to myself, and look back what I have accumulated over the past 10 years.
I’d like to expressly declare this article represents only my superficial personal experience in my life course. It’s not a “chicken soup for the soul”. I hope it gives me some alert, and constantly reminds me the deficiencies in my life and work. It is a showcase of my responsibility for the family, my conviction to the faith, my attitude to work, and my persistent pursuit of health.
时间一晃而过，公司的业务发展已过十载，我在 CNOOD 也已然十年了。历历在目的不止是公司在10年内翻天覆地的变化，更是在10年中对于自我的认知的沉淀，对于工作原则的建立，对于各样责任的明确。曾经池总的教诲中提到了：年轻人的三个重要的十年，一不小心已入第二，此时正是一个绝好的机会，本文的主旨也正是让自己从不时的虚假自欺中觉醒，警醒明辨自己信仰的持守，家庭的担当，工作的态度等是非与真伪，若能及时纠正思想和行为上的不义。
How time flies. The business has been going on for over 10 years. I’ve also been in CNOOD for over 10 years. What has come to my mind are not only earth-shaking changes of the company, but also accumulated self-knowledge, established work principles, and clear-cut responsibilities. Dennis told us young people to take seriously three crucial 10 years. Before I know it, I have entered the second 10 years. This is a golden opportunity. I write it down exactly for the purpose of alerting myself of false self-deception from time to time, identifying my belief, family responsibility and work attitude, and duly correcting ideological and behavioral misconducts.
I firmly believe that a person responsible for the family, colleagues and friends, and capable of treating others honestly, must be a grateful, modest person. In this regard, I should remind myself at all times, as I am aware of my deficiency, my pride in dealing with others and things, which often affect my life and work. I am fortunate that I have confirmed the faith of my life. The teachings of Christianity have guided my thoughts and actions. In the presence of the holiness of God, we are truly nothing. It is this supreme holiness that drives me to recognize my humbleness. This is not to make myself inferior, but to inspire me to come closer to the holiness of God. It pushes me to establish and constantly improve the principles of work, keep thinking about the significance of work, understand my responsibilities for the family, colleagues and friends, define the target, and consolidate my conviction to reach the goal.
I don't rely on the "chicken soups for the soul", as these sudden inspirations won’t last long. The real motivation brings actual changes in our inner minds. I would often reverse "Is my aggressiveness motivated by the motives that push me to be radical" and "Is my aggressiveness a result of having a clear idea of the significance and hence really inspiring me." Over the past decade, I have advanced from accepting all tasks in confusion to learning the art of dealing with all kinds of people and things. In this process, I have progressed from feeling restless when anything crops up to "meeting them calm and undaunted". It's important to note there's a core bottleneck in this shift. Over the years I have found and learned there is a lag in relative control, which leads to an extremely narrow attitude towards work and life in this period. But I was proud of it. This is the pride of human nature. I share this weakness of mine, in the hope that I could constantly alert myself to conquer it on the road of self-cultivation, and avoid to spread this inner emotion. Looking back on the past, I have not yet learned how to deal with others and things, I have not yet been fully at ease when misgivings crop up, but I have gained some experience and lessons in the process of accumulation. It is unworthy of praise or imitation, just a reference in the way forward. We have to empty ourselves before we are to be filled. If we are obsessed with what we have gained in the past, we will be unable to get new inspirations and harvests.
I feel lucky that in the past decade, I have met a lot of people who are ready to give me advice, and urge me to forge ahead. They are so tolerant to me, young and rebellious. We are enjoying a quiet life, because our elders have taken the heavy loads for us. We may not know how hard the company has been in the process of expansion. We may have no idea what our roles are in the company. But I agree with one thing -- nothing is easy and costless. In such a special hard time, the only thing we can do is to be ourselves. Then, there comes the question -- how to be ourselves? The first day I joined the company, Dennis told us to be ourselves. Now I know a little bit of it. A person who can "be himself/herself" must have a firm, clear goal, self-disciplined in life and work. This is the lesson in our lives. I admit I have not done good enough in this regard. I am often swayed by considration of gaines and losses, unclear of targets, and indolent. This is a universal phenomenon. I have found that time goes by so fast. I shall not idle away, either in belief or the state of work and life. It has been stipulated in the Bible, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” That is not an excuse to give up ourselves. Similarly, I have to admit I am identifying my problems not to win others’ approval, but to remind myself that I should be grateful for the dedications of the seniors, for the efforts of the colleagues, for the care of the family, and for the assistance of the friends. They don’t owe me anything. Do I deserve all these? The answer is often negative.
I’ll stop here. We have a long way to go, and yet our time is so short. If we are not careful enough, we may lose the moments that we should work hard, get lost and sink into depravity. Then we will not have the time to think for ourselves, learn for ourselves and be alert for ourselves. A free and useless soul, we may humbly cultivate ourselves, avoid the things we don’t want to do, and be thankful for all the people in our lives. As the Bible says, "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience. And patience, experience; and experience, hope."
Let’s go for it. These lines are for myself in 2020, and for myself in 2030 when I will look back at my second 10 years in CNOOD.
2010 年正式加入CNOOD 工作至今，现为高级客户经理，学历MBA。见证了CNOOD 每一次起点，每一次奇迹的发生。从一般贸易到工程贸易，从工程贸易到项目采购中心，现在又在为公司成为真正的EPC 工程公司而努力。相信：一切不是最好就没到最后。
Billy has been working at CNOOD since he formally joined the company in 2010 with an MBA degree. Now, he is a senior account manager at CNOOD. He has witnessed every starting point of
CNOOD and every time a miracle has occurred. Having witnessed the transformation of CNOOD from a company focused on general trade to one engaged in engineering trade, and again to a project procurement center, now he is working hard to grow with CNOOD and making CNOOD a real EPC company. He believes that it is not the end if everything is not the best.
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