闫京亚 | 生活这件“小”事


点击蓝字关注CNOOD官方公众号~




生活这件“小”事

Life Is But a "Small" Case



——闫京亚 Jane Yan


戌狗迎亥猪 转眼又是一年。

去年春节的一幕幕还在眼前,转眼便又是一个除夕夜。长大后,“年”彷佛踏上了风火轮,跑得特别快。

The year of the Dog is, before I notice it, coming to an end. We are ushering in the year of the Boar.

We are about to celebrate another Lunar New Year’s Eve when the scenes of last year’s Spring Festival are still fresh in my memory. Times seem to pass extremely fast when we are no longer kids.



2018年,我经历了许多细碎微小的幸福,也面临了许多艰难的时刻和跌宕起伏。一年到头回头看,还是挺感慨的。人类,真的是很顽强啊!你总能比自己想象中更努力一点,承受的东西也更多一点……

In 2018, I experienced many little doses of happiness while facing many hard times and turbulences. Looking back at the end of the year, I am filled with a myriad of emotions. Human beings are really tough creatures. You always work harder than you imagine and are able to take on more burdens than you think you could.


我曾经误以为,人是要活成别人想要的样子、符合别人的期待才算成功,因此陷入了一个怪圈,不断努力希望得到他人的认可,得不到就会认为自己不够好,不自信。然而,依靠他人获得幸福感和安全感的方式是十分不稳定的,于是就会不断的自我否定,徒增烦恼。

I used to think that we are successful only if we to live in the way expected by others. Therefore, I seemed to have fallen into a vicious circle: I worked hard incessantly in order to be accepted by others; if not, I would not regard myself good enough and become unconfident. However, it is unsteady to try to get your happiness and the sense of security by other people; you begin to deny yourself and become anxious for no reason.  





直到有一天,许久不见的老朋友打来电话,第一句就是问最近过的好不。那一刻我突然也想问自己:我是否事业顺利,关系圆满?是否婚姻幸福,家庭和谐?是否喜悦快乐,身心健康? 自问之后,我很惭愧的意识到,有很多方面,我做的还不够好。而且我惊讶地发现,这些围绕着我的,都只跟我自己本身有关。所以,我只有把自己做好,淋漓尽致地发挥智慧、爱心和决心,并为之投入百分之百的努力,生活才能幸福圆满。不是吗?!

Things went on until one day, an old friend who had not seen me for a long time called me and asked how I was doing recently. At that very moment I too wanted to ask myself: "Am I successful in my career and personal relations? Am I happy in my marriage and family? Do I enjoy life? Am I healthy both physically and mentally?" After asking myself these questions, I was sorry to be aware that I did not do a good job in many aspects. And it was to my surprise that these problems around me had nothing to do with anyone else. That is to say, I could have a happy, perfect life only if I become a better person, give full play to my wisdom, love and determination and work hard to the best of my abilities. Isn’t that the case?


瞬间感觉像被闪电击中。

All of a sudden, I felt as if I had been struck by a lightning.


原来,只有当你开始关注自身,回归内在,才能够帮助自己照顾好自己,千万别因为太想周全不想出错而活在别人的眼光里,最后却活成了自己最不喜欢的样子。而且人啊,别总是给自己太多的束缚,其实有时候忘记痛苦,不要比较,别怕失去,永远记得当年许下梦想的自己,那个心里有热血、眼里有光芒的自己,勇敢的朝梦想迈步,人生才有可能改变。无论这一步是否糟糕,不要计较不要回头,相信自己只要努力去做,总能到达想要去的地方。

It turns out that you are able to look after yourself only if you begin to pay attention to yourself and return to the inside. Never try to live in other people’s eyes just because you wish to be a perfect, faultless person, or you will end up in being a person you dislike the most. Don’t impose too many restrictions on yourself. In fact, you can make a difference in your life if you forget the pains and the comparison, fear not to lose anything, remember forever your dreams, passion and hope, and bravely stride forward to achieve your dreams. Don’t be too calculating nor turn back whether it will be a bad situation. Believe you can always be where you wish to if you work hard for it.


随着年龄渐长,和社会的交集越来越多,也越来越体会到,我并不完美,总会有一些事没做好,或者不如意,这都是正常的,并不需要过度责怪自己,不要让过高的自我要求阻碍对自我优点的认知,也不要活在过往里,跟旧时光缠斗。认认真真活好当下,拥有独立的思想,能够照顾他人的情绪,清楚自己的尺度和边界,深谙自己的天赋所在,既有想要爆发的欲望,也笃定不会失控,知世故而不世故,自尊自爱、张弛有度,我想,这才是最好的自己。

When I grow older, I have more and more connections with the world and become increasingly aware that I am not a perfect person and there will always be things I can not do well. It is just quite normal. There is no need to blame myself. Never stop to find your merits because of too high a self-requirement, nor live in the past and be entangled with the old days. Live a worthy life for the present moment. Think independently. Show consideration for others. Know where your limitations and boundaries lie and what your talents are. Have a desire to burst, and yet make sure you do not lose control. Know the worldly business, while avoid being a worldly person. Maintain self-respect. Know when to go and when to stop. This is, it seems to me, the way to be your best self.




古训讲:修身齐家治国平天下。修身放在首位可见其重要性。修身三修:修心,修性,修行。只有自己足够强大,才能正确面对生活中的种种不如意,能选择,懂放弃,懂得尽人事,听天命,不贪婪,不妄求,懂宽容,知进退,宠辱不惊,成功了不洋洋自得,失败了不悲观失意,在忙碌之中体会内心的宁静和生活的乐趣,从而真正做自己的主人。

The old teaching says, “A true gentleman should cultivate his person, regulate his family, rightly govern his state, and then the world will be given peace.” We can see the importance of self-cultivation because it is put in the first place. Self-cultivation includes three things: the cultivation of your heart, of your nature and of your conduct. You are able to take a correct attitude toward all the adversities in life only if you are strong enough. You are your own master if you know what to choose and when to give up, do all that is humanly possible while leaving the rest to God, restrain yourself being greedy and making unwarranted demand, learn to be tolerant, know when to advance and when to retreat, keep your head cool whether bestowed with favor or subjected to humiliation, never be carried away by success nor be upset by failure, and try to feel the inner tranquility and the delights of life.


一辈子太短,做自己喜欢的事,读自己喜欢的书,越来越接近自己喜欢的样子,很难,但很重要。

一年又一年,每个人都在收获成长。所谓成长,就是逼着你一个人,踉踉跄跄受伤,跌跌撞撞的坚强。

Life is short. It is hard and yet important to do things you like, read books you like, and become infinitely closer to the way you like.

Year after year, everyone has been growing. When you grow, you get injured and yet become stronger while staggering along all by yourself.





产假之后的相当长一段时间里,一直在努力处理自己的新身份所带来的一系列改变,带娃琐事、陡增的开支和长期睡眠不足,导致体力和精力消耗极大,情绪变得很紧张;另一方面,回来上班之后也不太适应从工作满满到突然闲下来的这种落差,而且感觉专注力和记忆力都有所下降,熟悉的工作找不到以前游刃有余的感觉,同时还需要尽快学习新知识跟得上公司的发展变化,有一种前所未有的无力感和紧迫感;长时间的空档期,和同事的沟通也出现了困难,大家讨论的话题很多也不熟悉;当看着儿子一天天长大,又会产生莫名的负罪感,因为自己很少时间陪他……这好几重压力一度令我心慌焦虑得很,那种感觉我想只有经历过的人才会懂。久而久之,工作和家庭都没能做得好,结果心理压力更大了。更糟糕的是这些情绪根本没时间消化,尝试过跟朋友同事倾诉,但是大家要么很忙要么也不能完全理解,反而因为自己的情绪影响了别人。所以后来就不自觉地就把自己封闭起来,只想自己慢慢调整悄悄自愈。

 In quite a long time after my maternity leave, I was trying hard to cope with the changes brought by my new identity. On one hand, because of the chores in looking after my baby and the quickly increasing expenses and constant lack of sleep, I was consuming too much of my strength and energy these days, causing a considerable mental tension. On the other, I was not used to the big gap between a busy working schedule to a sudden relax, with a decline in my attention and memory. I was not able to work as effortlessly as I used to. At the same time, I had to learn new knowledge as soon as possible to catch up with the fast-growing company. I felt a sense of powerlessness and urgency stronger than ever. After a long period without working I found it a little difficult to communicate with my colleagues who talked about things with which I was unfamiliar. Meanwhile, I would feel inexplicably guilty to see my baby son growing up day by day while I hardly have enough time to be with him… I became extremely anxious under these manifold pressures which could be understood only by those who had personally experienced them. As a result, I did not do a good job in either work or family, leading to an even greater mental stress. To make things worse, I did not have the time to handle the stress. I tried to talk to my friends or colleagues, but they were too busy to listen or just couldn’t understand what I was saying. I was afraid that they too were affected by my negative emotions. Unwittingly I began to lock myself up, hoping to heal myself by gradual self-adjustment.




庆幸的是,有老池的敏锐,让这段对我来说异常艰难的时间没有持续更长。他以洞悉一切的、一个过来人的、一个可信赖的长者的身份,语重心长的点醒我:别着急,慢慢来。

Luckily, the extremely difficult period of time for me did not last long, thanks to the penetrating observation of Dennis. As a reliable veteran who has an insight into everything, he awakens me by saying, “Don’t hurry! Take your time.” 


不适应就慢慢适应,宽容对待所有的变化。

Try to adapt slowly if you find it hard to do so. Embrace all the changes with an open mind.


除了自身客观条件的不允许,社会普遍认为刚生完小孩的女性全部心思都在孩子上,一般也不敢委以重任,这确实令人很失落。但换一个角度来想,这也是正常的,而且抚育小孩原本也是需要大量精力和时间,多一点时间陪陪一晃眼就长大了孩子,毕竟第一次坐,第一次爬,第一次走路,第一次牙牙学语,过去了就永远不会再回来了。而且周围的同事小伙伴儿们在工作上也一直对我特别理解和照顾,给了我足够的时间和空间来过渡。

In addition to their own conditions, female workers who have just had babies are generally believed to put in their energy in child-rearing and therefore will not be given important tasks. This is really disappointing. However, if we look at it from a different angle, we will consider it as a normal phenomenon. Besides, child-rearing requires for the first place a lot of energy and time. Parents should pay more time to be with their little babies, who will grow up before you know it. The times when your babies are able to sit, crawl, walk and talk take place only once. And my colleagues around me show particular understanding and care to me at work, giving me ample time and space to finish the transformation.


想通了这些,心头的雾霾便消散了很多。

My mind becomes clear when I have thought it through.


于是我努力调整心态,工作上开始重新系统学习CAD、SolidWorks等工程软件和 Office办公软件,通过提高工作效率来做到事半功倍,加强英语的复习和学习,同时关心行业趋势并针对性的阅读相关的专业书籍……我相信,只有先把自己武装好,才能更好的投入下面的工作。

Therefore, I try hard to adjust my frame of mind and begin to learn again engineering software such as CAD and SolidWorks and the Microsoft Office, trying to achieve maximum results by minimum effort. I make intense effort in English learning and revision. At the same time, I pay a lot of attention to business trends and read professional books in relevant fields…I can do a better job in my work in the coming days, I believe, only if I am fully prepared.


生活上也结交了一些职场妈咪做朋友,和她们多聊天,互相鼓励,也尽可能挤出一点时间给自己,即使是一个热水澡,或是一首歌的时间,心情真的会变好。心情好了,和孩子相处时才能全心全意感染给他快乐。我也慢慢的认识到,带孩子是很苦很累,但孩子也教会了我很多东西,我不是一个完美的妈妈,但我会一直努力去做。

I have made friends with a number of working moms. I have frequent conversations with them while encouraging each other. I try to find time for myself, even so short a period as to have a hot bath or listen to a song. This really makes me feel happier. And I can deliver happiness to my kid whole-heartedly only when I am happy myself. Slowly I am aware that it is a demanding task to look after a baby, but I am also taught many new things by my kid. I am not a perfect mom, but I will go on and try to be one.  


其实,每一个人在生命的某一个阶段,都会有段特别艰难的时候,可是,当这件事情有一天终于过去,你回过头来再看看那段过往,发现不过如此。虽然在一些特别特别难过的时刻,你也会期待来自他人的鼓励,哪怕是一点点,也许都会让你的心情好过一点,可是最终,你都靠自己挺过来了。那些当时难熬的时光,终将过去,唯一留下的是经历,是成长。

In fact, everyone will have an extremely hard time in some stage of his/her life. However, you will find it no more than an ordinary case when you look back on it when it is over one day. When you were at extremely depressed hours, you would expect to be encouraged by others and would invariably feel better no matter how tiny the encouragement was. However, you always braved it out by yourself. Those hard hours would be history one day, and what would be left are your experience and growth.


此后,你将一身荣光,风雨不惧。

From then on, you will be courageous enough to face all the adversities with honor.





我们都是正在编织梦想的普通人,生活中苦辣酸甜交织,欢乐苦难并存,也常常上一秒自己打鸡血,下一秒被现实泼冷水。很戳心,是不是?可我们的生活不就是这样的吗,活成什么样子就看你有没有为自己的梦想努力,被打击之后是否还保持初心,要知道,努力不是可耻的事,投降才是,逃避才是。那些杀不死我们的,都能使我们更强大。

We are all common dream-weavers, who taste both the sweetness and bitterness of life. We are often pumped up by ourselves at one moment and discouraged by the reality the next moment. Very disappointing, isn’t it? However, this is exactly what life is about. The type of life you will have depends on whether you have worked hard for your dream and whether you remain true to your original aspiration after being discouraged. Remember: To work hard is not a shame, but to give yourself up and to escape are. We are made stronger by whatever cannot destroy us.




无论何时,活出属于自己的风华和姿态。

无论何时,多给自己一些快乐,温暖、力量和勇气。

无论何时,仍怀揣一颗炙热的心,永远在路上。

你看前面,阳光灿烂。

Always be yourself with your own elegance and attitude.

Always give some joy, warmth, strength and courage to yourself.

Always be passionate on a journey to which there is no end.

Look ahead, and you will see the bright sunlight.



作者简介 About Author

闫京亚 Jane Yan

毕业于上海大学机械工程专业,2014年7月加入施璐德。感性工科女,靠谱金牛座。认真工作,热爱生活。愿用无比真诚和不断向上的初心与这个特别的集体共振。

Jane graduated from Shanghai University majoring in Mechanical Engineering, and joined CNOOD in July 2014. She is at once a sentimental female engineer and a dependable Taurus. She works hard and loves life. She wishes to resonate with the unique organization by her usual sincerity and original aspiration of making continuous progress.


END


/往期精彩内容/

▼ 


李燕飞 | 砥砺自我

池勇海 | 施璐德2019序

李燕飞 | 跟随内心 止于至善

池勇海 | 长风破浪会有时,直挂云帆济沧海

不忘初心-记施璐德2018年新同事入职仪式

张丽萍 | 见天地见众生见自己

许秋石 | 遇见你,是一种美好

CNOOD 2019校园招聘简章



电话:021-5168 8983

网址:www.cnood.com

简历投递:hr@cnood.com

联系我们:contact@cnood.com

上海地址:上海市静安区武宁南路1号越商大厦8楼

8/F, Yueshang Plaza, No. 1 South Wuning Road, Shanghai, 200040, P. R. China


编辑:小H


我知道你在看